BTS of Online Business without the BS

Home Organization that Works for your Neurodivergent Brain with Alyssa Duke

Tara Leson Episode 24

You will LOVE this episode if you're a neurodivergent friend that is into hearing about new and innovative solutions to work with YOUR unique brain. It's ok - we are different, and we OWN it. 

Alyssa and I are talking about not only her home organization tips that are going to finally make so much sense (instead of everything you've heard you 'should' do...), her journey to starting Alyssa's Yellow House, and a lot of relatable AuDHD things.

I'd love to hear your takeaways from this episode! 

Connect with me and Alyssa below: 

About Alyssa:

Alyssa is a neurodivergent home organization strategist helping people with autism and ADHD make their homes feel like home with out-of-the-box, brain-friendly solutions.
TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@alyssasyellowhouse
IG: www.instagram.com/alyssasyellowhouse
FB: www.facebook.com/groups/alyssasyellowhouse

Connect with me here:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/iamtaraleson/
Website: https://www.taraleson.com

Send us a text

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Behind the Scenes of Online Business Without the BS podcast. If you're a motivated entrepreneur with a dream of building your own sustainable online business, you are in the right place. The right place. I'm Tara the systems expert, and I help online business owners put systems into your business so you can live in your life, not in your business, and still make daily sales. I also love to keep it real with what it takes to build an online business. Get ready as we go behind the scenes on this wild ride of entrepreneurship and building successful, real businesses. Welcome back to the podcast. Today, I have with me one of my friends and I'm super excited to get to talk to her. So this is Alyssa. I'm going to get her to introduce herself and tell us all about the things that she does.

Speaker 2:

Hey guys, I am Alyssa and I work with a company called Alyssa's Yellow House, which I founded after my adult diagnosis of autism and ADHD. And the reason I started this was because around the time that I got diagnosed was during pandemic time, when we were all at home all the time and I had been able to ignore the state of my home for a long, long time. Right, we've all been there where if you're away from home for eight or nine or 10 hours a day, there's a lot you can let slide. And suddenly I was at home constantly and I stopped being able to let it slide and I absolutely had to find solutions. And then I was diagnosed and my background is in education, so I immediately put my teacher hat on and said if I had a student who wanted something as badly as I want my home to be functional, I wouldn't blame them. I would be looking at their environment, about what is not working within their environment that's causing this to be a problem, because obviously trying harder is not it. And the more I looked at it from that lens, the more I started putting together that because my brain works differently, I just have to do things differently.

Speaker 2:

And as I put these methods together. I was sharing them with friends and family, and if you have ADHD or autism, you probably know that we self-select for friends who are like us. So my friends, right? So I just got super interested and I was sharing with my friends hey, I'm trying this thing and it's working really well. And I started having friends come back to me and say I tried this thing you suggested and it worked great for me too. And eventually I realized there's not just one tiny little group of us here in Missouri that are struggling with this, it's people all over the place. The odds that it's just all over the place, the odds that it's just like my 10 friends, are zero. And so I started expanding it so that more people could have access to home organization information that is not just based in a neurotypical lens. That only leads us to frustration and doesn't actually solve any of our problems.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and I just like I absolutely love it and I am low-key obsessed with following you on TikTok. I feel like you've just like found your place on TikTok. When you went over there, it just like, I don't know, it just is. So you Not that you like don't do good on Instagram, but I feel like TikTok is just like you have the trends down and you just like you get so much engagement on there too. I'm just like you are killing it over on TikTok.

Speaker 2:

I'm loving it. I have found that the thing about it that works for me is that it's not curated. Yes, that's what I struggle with is I know the things that I know. I am very, very confident in the things that I know because I have discovered them through trial and error and it's been an intense process of learning this information. But, frankly, trying to come off as a professional is exhausting, and so Instagram can be a real struggle, because there's a lot of pressure on Instagram to be very curated and to come across with a specific image, and on TikTok I can just turn the camera on, say some facts and then turn the camera off. Yes.

Speaker 2:

And I am so glad that people seem to be resonating with that, because that is so much more authentic to me. Yeah, that it's been just so great being able to just say what I want to say instead of having to cover it in several different layers of nonsense expectations.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and that's so interesting because we always like, we talk about, you know, know, being authentic on Instagram and like everywhere on all of the platforms. But I find the same thing I find on TikTok, for whatever reason. It's just so much easier. And I find making the videos on there I don't know what it is and it's not like I make my videos that much different on Instagram, but it's just easier. You literally just press record, you talk about whatever, then it's off and all you do is like add your captions and or your yeah, your captions and you're done and that's it. And I don't know why it seems like Instagram is so much of like a bigger production. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if it's just the posting process, if it's that it's just so easy to post things on TikTok, I find that it takes me the same amount of energy to post like six TikTok videos as it does, to post one or two on Instagram, even if I'm using the exact same video, which doesn't really make sense to me.

Speaker 2:

I know it's like it's just so much easier. And then I'm also finding that the engagement is so much more on TikTok and I'm wondering if it's the same thing, if it's that everybody feels like it's just easier to engage with, like something about Instagram. It's easier to just scroll, like, even if I see a post and I'm like yeah, that's a great point. I don't hit like on Instagram and I have my internal theory on why that is and it's stupid, but because of the way my brain works, I'm like okay, I think it's just one additional added barrier.

Speaker 2:

I think my my personal theory is that on Instagram the like buttons and the engagement buttons are on the left and on TikTok they're on the right. Yeah, and I'm generally scrolling with my phone in my right hand and then it's easier to hit the buttons, where for Instagram I have to go out of my way to hit the buttons, which is like it shouldn't make a difference, but it does, and I know in organization I mean it's the same thing. Whether or not the bins have lids on them can be the difference between whether I will use them or not is just will I do the one extra step? So that's kind of my own theory about one of the reasons that engagement is so much easier because it's set up to prompt you to be as easy as possible.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I've never thought about that, but it's so true, like now that I think about it. That makes so much sense. And it is so true, like when I actually think about doing it, like scrolling. It's so true and I would agree in like. Engagement on TikTok, I find is a lot better than on Instagram. I don't know, is a lot better than on Instagram. I don't know. It's very interesting and a lot of people are. I find. A lot of people, though, are scared to make the leap over to TikTok and they want to stay with Instagram, even though they might complain about the algorithm on Instagram. They don't want to try TikTok, and I get it. It's a different platform, like it's. It is different, but it's not nearly as hard as people think.

Speaker 2:

No, I was expecting it to be very complicated. And.

Speaker 2:

I've kind of tried, like because I know myself and I know that I what I want to do is jump in and do everything all at the same time and generally that's like the worst possible answer. Yeah, like that is. That is how I drag everything out and then walk around it on the floor for three weeks because I ran through all my motivation when I was halfway done. So I tried to really set up my Instagram and feel good about it before I moved to the next thing and I am now thinking like I could have done this so much earlier, because it is not hard to learn, it's not complicated, it's extremely intuitive.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, it's so easy and it's like even when you look at setting up like your bio, you get barely a sentence you get like half a sentence. So you can't even really think about what you're going to put there because you have no options, right? You don't even get to think about it. There is no choice. You just post your picture, you post half a sentence and post your videos, which take like three minutes, like that's it.

Speaker 2:

You're done, but also because the whole platform is videos, you don't have the problem you have with Instagram, where it's like should I post this as a reel, or should I post it as a carousel, or should I post it as just a straight up post? Like you get. You get one option take it or leave it. And for my brain that works great. Give me a very limited number of options, and I will thrive on that.

Speaker 1:

I know, yeah, yeah, that is so true, that is so true, yeah, and it makes it so easy. I love that. Okay, so tell me about when you started your business and I want to kind of know about how did you like transition out of teaching, like what was that, how did that happen and how did you? You know, you kind of went over how you got started into your business, but what was the transition out of teaching and then getting into your business?

Speaker 2:

So the transition out of teaching is a little bit complicated. I will try to say this as diplomatically as I can. I worked for, or I was involved with, a school district that I didn't agree with all of their practices, with all of their practices. I didn't like their policies, I didn't like their practices, I didn't like the way that they solved problems and I felt like the way that they were doing things was not in alignment with my values. And at the same time, my husband was getting into his professional career in engineering.

Speaker 2:

So, I was like, okay, if one of us has to make a change, obviously it's going to be the person on a teacher's salary. I mean, he as an engineer, you're going to make twice teacher's salary, just out of the gate.

Speaker 2:

So it was like, okay, that's a no brainer, we're going to go where you can get a job yeah and then I started getting sick, and so I just didn't go back at that point because I thought, you know, in my delusional, like medical drama brain I was like, oh well, doctors will be very concerned, they'll figure out what's wrong with me, we'll get some help, and then I'll go back to it like in a year, once I feel better. Well, that's not what happened. I was told that I just had anxiety until I started gaining weight for no reason, and then I was told I was just fat, which I also found really entertaining. That like there's this stereotype that if you're thin you get better medical treatment and in my experience you don't. They just blame it on something different. It's like well, you're not fat, so you must not have a problem. And it's like okay, but if I am fat and my problem is because of that, then if I'm not, I can still have problems, right, and they're like nope. No, no, actually you don't, it's just anxiety.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you no longer have problems, right, they just go away magically.

Speaker 2:

Right. And then pandemic hit and that did not make it easier to get medical care. And actually just in the last few months have I finally figured out what's going on and started feeling better, which has been incredible and totally unexpected. Yeah, and like we were completely convinced All of my doctors were totally convinced that I had some kind of thyroid problem and that was what was at the root of all of these issues. And then one doctor was like actually, I think you're iodine deficient and it turned out that I was. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And as soon as I started, I mean, it's not even like a controlled substance. You order it online and I feel night and day better. Yeah. But of course, by this point, having seen, you know, seen the state of education, and especially where I live, I would love to go back to it someday, but I don't think it wants me. The way that it is is not in alignment with the things that I believe and the convictions that I have. I have had people ask would you someday go back to it?

Speaker 1:

And I think potentially I might, but so many things would have to be very different that I just don can see that and that you actually made the decision to choose something different Because, like I'm a huge, they don't necessarily like, but they don't like, they think that they don't see a way out of, or they're unsure what it's going to look like on the other side. And you know, you might not know, like you wouldn't have known, what it was going to be like to not go back to teaching or not have a teaching job. No, at the same time, what's better staying in that or choosing to do something different, like to be happier with your life?

Speaker 2:

Yes, and like to be happier with your life. Yes, and, and I also recognize it was an immensely privileged position to have the support.

Speaker 2:

I mean, it's to say like we had money we didn't, but we had enough that it wasn't a crisis to lose that income while I transitioned to something else and which at the time, one of the considerations was we just didn't know what was wrong with me and we didn't know if I would ever be healthy enough to go back to a teaching position, because in elementary school it's an extremely physically demanding job, regardless of what you're teaching. Yeah, because that's just how little kids are.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love them, and I thrived in that environment when I was healthy, and I was just not sure if I would ever be healthy again, and so the idea of trying to plan for a time when I would have that much energy was very questionable. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And so when this other opportunity came up and was like this is something I deeply understand, this is something I'm really good at, this is something I have an opportunity to share, I grabbed onto it with both hands and said this is where I'm going to focus my time and my efforts, instead of planning on something that may never happen instead of planning on something that may never happen.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. I especially like the energy part. That's so funny. I just have to tell the story because it's hilarious the energy part of dealing with kids in schools and little kids. So I am part of the school council at Alexandra school and so this was a couple years ago now and we volunteered for um supervision over lunch hour and I've told them since I will never do this again because I was the worst volunteer ever. I kept the kids like they were good, but no one got out for recess. No one got out because I could not get them out of their classes. It is like hurting I don't even know what, like they say, hurting cats. It was worse than that. It was so awful. They were all over the place, no one had like and it was winter. So winter in Canada you have to get like your ski pants on your mitts, your boots, your jacket, and no one had anything on. It was a fucking disaster. So that was my one and only time that I will ever be doing anything close to doing anything.

Speaker 2:

I loved it. I thrived on that environment when I was healthy because and I think in some ways, like I didn't know at that time, that I was autistic- but, looking back, I think that helped me so much because I was giving clear, simple instructions. I was telling them exactly what I wanted them to do and they have no problem doing it. They do have problems with ambiguous instructions. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I worked with very, very young kids like ages three to seven at various points. So you need to be very clear I want you to do this and then this and then this, and I do not want you to do this or this, and they're good with that. But I think that, since that came naturally to me and it was not something I had to learn, that it really helped me Because I especially after I learned that I was autistic and ADHD I was like that makes so much sense because those are the kids that I worked with so well when other people really struggled with them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I think a lot of that is stuff that I've sort of brought with me. Yeah, now working with adults, because a lot of the ways that the school system sort of trains you to work with those kids is very punitive. Yeah, and I don't believe in that. I had a student that I was working with at one time when I was like still like I hadn't even graduated yet, I was doing an internship and there was a student who very much was ADHD and struggling, and most of the other teachers, when they would interact with him, would say things like well, if you can't focus and you can't sit still on the carpet with us, then you'll have to go back to your seat. And I was right and I was doing the exact same thing. But I would tell him hey, buddy, you also deserve to learn.

Speaker 2:

And if your brain is struggling to learn here on the carpet with us, please feel free to go sit at your desk, if that's where your brain learns better. No problems and within like a couple of weeks, if he would get squirmy, I could just look at him and he would just get up and go sit at his desk and we didn't even have to have a conversation about it. But also he felt like I was offering him that as an opportunity. Yeah, because I was. If he wanted to go sit at his desk and squirm, I don't care, it's not bothering anybody else if he's not in danger of like kicking someone yeah whatever works for his brain is fine, and I had other teachers that would ask me like why does he just do things for you?

Speaker 2:

We can't get him to do anything. And I'm like I don't know Cause I treat him like a person who's trying, like it's not his fault if I am putting him into an environment that doesn't serve him. Yeah, so just like I think that's something that has been really helpful to bring with me is just this idea that if you are really trying and something is not working for you, it's probably not that you need to try harder. No.

Speaker 2:

Like you need to change what you're doing and just being told that trying harder will fix it is is absolute bullshit, like it's not going to fix it, it's not going to make it better, it's going to make you more frustrated and burnt out, but it's not actually going to solve your problems.

Speaker 1:

No, yeah, no, that's not the thing. That is definitely not the thing, and I know that drives me nuts too, because I also have ADHD and I'm like that. No, like trying harder is literally going to make me well. I'm not going to be able to. I'm going to like not intentionally try less, but I'm going to get more distracted is what's going to happen, because that's how my brain works and I'm going to start doing a million other things if I actually try harder when I'm at my limit, because that's not how things work.

Speaker 2:

No, well, and that's also how we develop things like learned helplessness and the belief that we just can't do it, when really we're trying to do it in a way that's wrong for us, that that does not work for us. I mean, there are so many places where if we saw someone trying to do something in a way that was totally ineffective, we would be like hey, have you ever considered not doing that? Yeah, rather than saying hey, why don't you try harder? Like I use the analogy with clients all the time like if you went to your mechanic and you saw that he was trying to fix your car with oven mitts on, you would be like hey, have you ever considered not doing that? Like, this seems like a deeply ineffective way to do things.

Speaker 2:

And if he was like well, I just find that if I try harder, I can make it work. And if he was like well, I just find that if I try harder, I can make it work. And you'd be like why Like? Why are you bothering? Like, or you could just do anything else. Like I'm always going to opt for, let's try something different instead of trying harder.

Speaker 1:

Yes, exactly. So talk about, like, how you've brought this into your business now and the ways that you know what you do now and with organization and all of the things, and how that really applies to your business now that really applies to your business now.

Speaker 2:

So right now, primarily working with clients and through a one-on-one program or I'm like this, close to releasing my membership, which is going to be a lot more accessible for, like a community aspect is working with people to understand primarily what are the signs in your home that you need to do something differently. Because we, especially as people with ADHD that grew up like our parents, did not know If they even knew that we had ADHD. They certainly didn't know how to teach us to work with our brains, certainly didn't know how to teach us to work with our brains, and so organization for us meant put it away, which meant put it in a closet, put it in a drawer, put it in a cabinet, put it in a closed-in space where you can't see it, which just doesn't work for our brains. We primarily need to see our stuff, to remember that it exists, and so what we learned as children from that experience was I am a messy person and I'm bad at organization.

Speaker 1:

I had like the messiest room ever and my parents always used to get so mad. Yeah, like I don't understand why your room is so messy and I was like I don't know.

Speaker 2:

But I bet you knew where everything was.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, of course I did, right. Yeah, so, like, as kids, we have a very intuitive organizational style. We know how we want to display our stuff, but also we're not in charge of buying furniture, so we don't get to opt for open shelving, like we would naturally want, or clear bins instead of the opaque ones that hide our stuff from us, and so we are forced into a system that doesn't really work for us, and nobody ever explains that. And so then, as an adult, we still just carry this belief that I'm just bad at this and it's like, well, of course you're bad at using a system that was never meant for you and does not work for you. Like, that's not a surprise that you would be bad at using that system, but that doesn't mean that you can't create a system that does work for you and does honor the way that your brain actually works. So a lot of what I do is helping people understand what are the signs and symptoms that you're trying to use a system that doesn't work for you.

Speaker 2:

And then, once you have figured out aha, here's the problem. What do you do about it? To move toward a more effective, more functional way to do things, because if you feel like you're spending every minute of every day trying to keep up, you're using the wrong system. You're using someone else's system, because when what you're doing feels authentic, it's never going to be effort-free, but it should feel natural and intuitive.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1:

I love that so much and I find it so interesting because there's different things that we've tried and even thinking about, how you said, like the open shelving and stuff.

Speaker 1:

So we went from having dressers, like we don't have dressers in our room and we just have shelving in our closet and it's all open and that's where, like, most of my clothes are, and then I have like this little thing that I keep like socks and underwear and stuff in, but that's what I use and it is the best because I can see freaking everything in there, everything, yeah, and like the pantry. This is the other, because I know that you talk about bins, so I want to talk about this in a minute. But we do have some bins, but it's not the same. I wouldn't say it's. It's definitely not the curated bins that you see like on Pinterest. Oh, my good lord. I tried that one time and I was like this is not even going to last for 30 seconds, like this one kid goes for a granola bar and it's over like whose freaking pantry stays like that for more than five minutes.

Speaker 1:

Seriously, that's one of my favorite topics is because of.

Speaker 2:

So this is one of the things that I I will admit I have a bit of a soapbox about this. So when people say that people who are autistic or ADHD take things literally, people assume that means we don't understand sarcasm. Well, if you've ever heard a conversation between the two of us, you know that's wrong. Yeah, but what it means is we see those fridge organizing videos or the pantry organizing videos and we think that's real. It's not. It is absolute bullshit. They are not running out of everything all at the same time. Those things are not staying organized in those little bins. They are not actually managing to put all that stuff away before the fridge door starts beeping that you need to close it. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's not really. It doesn't look like that, it doesn't function like that. No, the minute one of your kids goes for a granola bar, it falls apart and you cannot possibly keep track of it. But what you can't see in those videos is the giant pile of everything they took out of the fridge that's just out of the frame so that you can't see it. That's like all their salad dressings and the condiments and like the half pack of bacon they didn't use last week, and like the old sour cream from three weeks ago that should probably be thrown away. They don't show you any of that, and so we look at that and we think that works for them yeah and it's not intended to work for them.

Speaker 2:

It's intended to be a nice aesthetic video to post online, and nobody actually lives that way.

Speaker 1:

There's no way. I just I cannot believe that anyone truly does. I can't.

Speaker 2:

And I mean even if there's somebody who does. I don't want to spend that time and energy on that. Like I, have other things and like I just have other things I want to do with that time. Oh yeah. Could I make that work? Sure, could I make that work and also be happy and do literally anything else with my life? No, probably not, and I would so much rather spend that time doing other stuff that's valuable to me.

Speaker 1:

I know like the time that you'd have to take every time you go grocery shopping just to empty everything into the containers. That's what I always think too. I'm like no, no, and especially as somebody with ADHD.

Speaker 2:

Like I need those containers because I need that expiration date. Like I am going to find myself wondering how long have these eggs been in here actually and being able to look at the container and be like oh that wondering how long have these eggs been in here actually? And being able to look at the container and be like, oh, that's how long they've been in there Infinitely valuable to me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's the one that always gets me is I'm like, but that's kind of gross, and some people do it with like lunch meat and all kinds of stuff and I'm like that is not okay. That is what are you doing?

Speaker 2:

yeah, I I find that so questionable and that's what I think of now when I watch those videos, instead of thinking, oh, that looks so neat and organized, I think. Are you writing down the expiration date for that, because I would not remember and I know, I know now I just can't no, also it's like if you buy the same snacks every time.

Speaker 2:

like you must not know anything about children, because they're going to eat one of those snacks every single day for three months and then they're not going to touch it again for like a year. So yeah system is not.

Speaker 1:

It's not really functioning like that no, no, the only thing that we do is like when we get the kids snacks we do get like we'll have the granola bars and whatever. I take them out of a out of the box and I put them into a bin that they can just grab them out of. That's like literally as complex as we get.

Speaker 2:

That is it. Well, and that's not even like. That's just saving you from constantly being asked mom, will you open this box?

Speaker 1:

Exactly, that's exactly what it is. Or cleaning up the box, because they open it and then they leave it on the counter, or they just leave it in the pantry empty, and then I'm like you didn't bother to tell anyone. And then they go back in here and they're like there's no snacks. I'm like yeah, because you ate them all, and then you didn't say anything.

Speaker 2:

At least I know yeah, there's no snack fairy that comes in the middle of the night and replenishes the, the fruit, that's just you.

Speaker 1:

Unfortunately. Yeah, I wish that there was. I would appreciate it. That'd be great. Yeah, yeah, I'd like that. So tell me again. We'll go over again. How do you work with clients right now? What does that look like?

Speaker 2:

So my primary focus right now that I'm really enjoying is a one-on-one, so it's an eight week program and it's split sort of in half. So four of those weeks are specifically like take your phone, take your iPad, your tablet, whatever into one of your problem areas and let's go through it and let's figure out what is causing this. And let's go through it and let's figure out what is causing this, and then what can we do? So?

Speaker 2:

that this stops happening. Primarily, it's small changes, like I am never going to tell somebody you need to rely on a system that is based on you waking up tomorrow was a totally different person, because that's setting you up to fail and it's never going to happen. Or if you know that that's happening, when you start something and you're super on it for like two weeks and then you never think about it ever again, like that's what you've done is tried to make a change that's too big. So half of it is that is, let's solve a really specific problem in your home right now, and then the other half is more like larger systems based Like okay, how are you thinking about this type of organization and how can we adjust those ideas so that it feels more easy and natural to find those systems that really work for you easy?

Speaker 2:

and natural to find those systems that really work for you. Like, as an example for that because that's a little bit opaque is looking at like the way that we frame tasks in our homes, because so many of the tasks in our homes are cyclical. There's always laundry, there are always dishes, there is always cooking. There is always cleaning laundry. There are always dishes, there is always cooking, there is always cleaning. We never trying to go from start to finish is basically impossible because you never actually get finished.

Speaker 2:

So instead I focus on more of a start to comfort approach, like where is the point where you're comfortable with it? Because one of the things that I love about tasks that are never a hundred percent finished is that there's no pressure to finish them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Like you can't.

Speaker 2:

And so changing that mindset from I'm never going to be done to I never have to be done is so freeing those things as like, okay, you can look at it as I have to clean up these dirty dishes, or you can look at it as I deserve to have a really great morning tomorrow morning and wake up with clean dishes and have smooth sailing all the way through. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that's so much more motivating than focusing on something that feels like work, yeah. And then another part of the mindset piece is finding those ways to build in these reminders that help you do things, because this is another soapbox that I have so much of the organization industry relies on. Well, just make it a habit, just get into the habit of whatever it is and like, thanks, but if you have ADHD, you won't be doing that because your brain doesn't do that thing. Like, I still have to remind myself to brush my teeth and I've only been doing that twice a day for 30 years. So, like, trying to use a habits-based approach is not going to help you.

Speaker 2:

But building it into your routine will absolutely help you figure out how to get that done. So finding the ways that you're naturally moving through your home and then being able to insert those helpful little things that remind you to initiate a task into that routine that you're already doing is always going to make it more likely that you'll actually be able to do it than trying to make it a habit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I absolutely love that and I love talking to you about this stuff because, well, it makes so much sense to me with ADHD. So that's partially why I love that and I love talking to you about this stuff, because, well, it makes so much sense to me with ADHD, so that's partially why I love it. But it's just such a different perspective than what we often see online, which is so much of the like well, like we were talking about the videos that everything looks so perfect and it has to be the certain way, but, like, no one lives that way. So let's find the way that actually works for you.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we are sold this idea that if you just do it right it can be perfect. And it shouldn't have to be perfect. Frankly, that that feels exhausting to me.

Speaker 2:

Like letting go of the need to be perfect gets you so much energy back, yeah, and when you actually get the opportunity to we don't often we're not given the opportunity by the organization industry to ask ourselves what do I actually value about my home? Maybe I care that the living room looks nice because I'm always having people over, but maybe my bathroom can be trashed and it doesn't bother me. Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I don't care if the places that people see are cluttered, but I really care that my bathroom is spic and span all the time. But I get to choose where I want to spend that energy. And we are sold this narrative that we have to be spending our energy on all of it all the time or we're just bad people, and this is not realistic and, frankly, nobody is doing it that way. They're just doing a really good job of making us believe that they are.

Speaker 1:

Well, exactly Because you can make a video about anything and post it online and pretend that that's your life.

Speaker 2:

I see huge parallels in a lot of your content on TikTok that talks about like if you have passive income, that doesn't actually mean that you do nothing. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You're sold this idea that that means that you do nothing, but it doesn't actually look like that, and it's the exact same in organization that we're sold this idea that if your systems are good enough, you only have to spend 15 minutes a day on it. And like that's great If those 15 minutes are really honed in to be systems that work for you. Yeah, because if I'm using good systems, I can do so much more in 15 minutes than I can If I'm using really crappy systems that are not actually functional for me.

Speaker 1:

Exactly. Yeah, it's always about finding what's actually going to work for you. It's not about trying to fit into what somebody else is doing or what you're seeing online, and I said this the other day to someone else. I was like you know, you can see all of these things online, and even going into like this is totally a different tangent, but it's so true because I think a lot of people compare themselves to like how much people are making online. You don't know that they are making that much unless they show you your bank account or their bank account. You have no idea. So stop putting so much pressure on yourself to think that you have to show up and get to that level when you don't even know for sure that that's true or what the actual level is.

Speaker 2:

No, and even those videos where people like pan the camera around their kitchen and it's like, oh wow, their whole kitchen actually looks like this. And it's like, oh wow, their whole kitchen actually looks like this. When I was a kid, we were in the process of selling our house and so it needed to look really nice.

Speaker 2:

And they called us at one point and said hey, we have people who want to come for a showing in like 15 minutes and we had no time to prepare and we had stuff all over the place. So we literally took our dirty dishes, loaded them up into a laundry basket and drove them around town with us for the time that these people were doing the showing in our house.

Speaker 2:

So even if it pans around and it looks like there's no dirty dishes in the kitchen, you don't know if they have thrown their dirty dishes into a laundry basket and they're sitting in the back of an SUV. They're selling you this narrative that, like this, is just what's happening. And that's still only one slice.

Speaker 1:

That's. That is so true. I love that so much. That is also I call it now.

Speaker 2:

Every time someone sees one of these images, they think to themselves their dishes are probably in a laundry basket in the back of their SUV because they probably are.

Speaker 1:

That's what I'm going to think every single time. I'm probably going to message you about it. Please do I love that. I love that so much, all right. Please do I love that. I love that so much, all right. Where can people find you if they want all the organization, tips and help and ways to do something different than what they've maybe been taught?

Speaker 2:

Oh, please do. Please do something different than what you've been taught. The only possible thing that could happen is that it doesn't work any better. So, like, please, try it. But definitely find me on TikTok at Alyssa's Yellow House. That is probably the main place that I'm hanging out right now, and then the secondary place that I'm spending a lot of time that is also getting ready to be a lot more active. We're getting more people in there. I'm having a good time with it is the Facebook group, which is also Alyssa's Yellow House. Find me on Instagram at Alyssa's Yellow House, but that may or may not be. I may not spend a lot of time over there, so TikTok or the Facebook group are probably your best bet.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, amazing. So go check out Alyssa. Make sure you go check out all of her things. Join the Facebook group. Definitely check her out on TikTok and thank you so much for joining me. This was a great conversation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thanks for having me. I've had so much fun.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely so. If you're watching on YouTube, I would love if you could like and subscribe and I will catch you in the next one. Thank you so much for listening, friend. I appreciate you being here and sharing in our experiences as we go behind the scenes in online business. I would love for you to hit that five stars, share with a friend that might enjoy it too, and leave a review telling me your favorite part of the show or this episode. Until next time, go, be successful, do the hard things and stay away from the BS.